PIC No. 30:
• Title: Experiential Intelligence: Harness the Power of Experience for Personal and Business Breakthroughs
• Author: Soren Kaplan
• Publisher: Matt Holt (Jan. 24, 2023, 264 pages)
• Management Bucket #7 of 20: The People Bucket
Welcome to Issue No. 30 of PAILS IN COMPARISON, the value-added sidekick of John Pearson’s Buckets Blog. This blog features my “PICs”—shorter reviews of helpful books—with comparisons to other books in my 20 management buckets (core competencies) filing system.
Oops! No One Roasted the Author at His Farewell Roast!
You’re well-read. You’re a trend-spotter. You’re in-the-know. You coach others, right?
• So you’re familiar with IQ (intelligence quotient).
• You’re savvy about EQ (emotional intelligence).
• And you can summarize XQ (experiential intelligence).
What? You’ve never heard of XQ? Welcome to the club! Soren Kaplan, author of the new book, Experiential Intelligence: Harness the Power of Experience for Personal and Business Breakthroughs, defines XQ as:
“…the combination of mindsets, abilities, and know-how gained from your unique life experience that empowers you to achieve your goals.”
Really? Now we need yet one more assessment to learn how to survive in the workplace and in our relationships? (I know…the latest, greatest assessment parade is beginning to feel like the 31 ice cream flavors from Baskin-Robbins.) But…hold on. This one may surprise you.
To test the waters of this book (released on Jan. 24), I read Chapter 9 first, “Leadership XQ.” Bingo! The author, named to the prestigious Thinkers 50, begins by quoting Peter Drucker in the first sentence. “The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths in ways that make the system’s weaknesses irrelevant.”
Kaplan elaborates on why your past experiences matter. “Gaining insight into your self-limiting beliefs and autopilot responses allows you to avoid being steered by them, while making it easier for your strengths to rise to the surface.” Oh, my. The author is very, very transparent and his personal examples and vulnerability are prompts for searching your own soul.
Citing “a cascade of poor decisions” he made in one company, he confesses: “Just like how I hunkered down as a kid and became incredibly self-sufficient due to my circumstances, I reverted to another self-limiting belief: that, in order to get through tough times, I needed to step up and go it alone.” Chapter 9 lists five leadership strategies to leverage both positive and negative experiences.
Inspired by Chapter 9, I then read this fascinating book properly: page one to 203. You’ll appreciate the “Key Messages” bullet points summarizing the 13 chapters. (You might even read those first). Each chapter features a QR code for a short introductory video by the author. (Helpful!)
Think of IQ, EQ, and XQ as a Venn diagram with each segment complementing each other. “While the world generally recognizes IQ and EQ as indicators of ability, the missing element is Experiential Intelligence. XQ is like the third leg of a stool that’s been propping us up all along but that we haven’t been able to see because it’s been hidden beneath our seats. As a complement to IQ and EQ, XQ expands our understanding of what’s needed to thrive in today’s every-changing, increasingly uncertain, and disruptive world.”
Remember the January 2 shock-to-the-nation when Damar Hamlin, the Buffalo Bills player experienced cardiac arrest on the field? Had The Wall Street Journal reporter read this XQ book, he would have mentioned how Coach Sean McDermott leveraged IQ, EQ, and XQ in the midst of that trauma. Click here to read “The Coach Who Turned Around the Buffalo Bills—and Led Them Through Crisis.” (Reporter Andrew Beaton does note McDermott’s EQ.)
Good News! The book is filled (actually jam-packed) with helpful charts and templates:
• 3 Building Blocks of XQ (Mindsets, Abilities, Know-How)
• Intelligence Comparison Chart (3 columns detailing focus, definition, and scope)
• XQ Snapshot Template (and the author’s personal examples)
• Impact Chart Template (a matrix with type of experience and level of impact: Trauma, Transformation, Limiter, Expander)
• Belief Mapper Template (impacts, messages, beliefs)
• Primal World Beliefs (based on research)
• Belief Expander Template (Self-Limiting Beliefs and Self-Expanding Beliefs)
Taking a page from Leadership and Self-Deception, Kaplan discusses “ways to create a new storyline and reinvent your relationship loops.” It took the author 10 years to realize that he and his business partner were “stuck in a negative relationship loop.” And this aspiration: “I no longer wanted to live with a constant hum of irritation in my interactions with such an important person in my life.”
Did I mention the author’s transparency? Leaving a managerial position at a big tech company, the department planned a “roast” party. Read why his measured and “so-invulnerable” persona (based on his life experiences) left his colleagues with no roast material. (Oh, my.) Now, as he’s dug deep into XQ, he’s a different person. (Apparently, people can change!)
More Good News! The book includes access to a very brief online assessment that measures your XQ. Helpful—and revealing.
The 3 Powerful S’s—Plus More! If you’re a long-time reader of my book reviews, you know that I’m a big fan of what I’ve labeled “The 3 Powerful S’s: Social Styles, Strengths, and Spiritual Gifts.” Then, I read Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (The World’s Most Popular Emotional Intelligence Test). Oops! There are more assessments that fill in the blanks for holistic living. (See below and see also Part 9, “Five Powerful Assessments,” in Mastering 100 Must-Read Books.)
The author warns that “toxic organizational cultures can fly under the radar for a long time. These cultures are often exacerbated by a combination of formal and informal policies, procedures, rewards, and poor leadership behavior.” (Example: Uber’s early days.)
While XQ is not a theological book—it kinda is. (See the “Good vs. Bad” chart.) I’d enjoy a day with my friends from TrueFace to hear their color commentary on how Experiential Intelligence (XQ) blends with the content in their book, The Cure: What If God Isn’t Who You Think He Is and Neither Are You.
PAILS IN COMPARISON: Reading this book reminded me of several other must-read books in the People Bucket, plus other buckets/core competencies.
[ ] Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (The World’s Most Popular Emotional Intelligence Test), by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves (read my review)
[ ] Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box (Second Edition), by The Arbinger Institute (read my review)
[ ] Brain Rules for Work: The Science of Thinking Smarter in the Office and at Home, by John Medina (read my review)
[ ] Illuminate: Ignite Change Through Speeches, Stories, Ceremonies, and Symbols, by Nancy Duarte and Patti Sanchez (read my review)
[ ] The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team, by Patrick M. Lencioni. Listen on Libro (4 hours, 11 minutes) - (read my review)
[ ] The Cure: What If God Isn’t Who You Think He Is and Neither Are You, by John Lynch, Bruce McNicol and Bill Thrall (read my review)
To order from Amazon, click on the title for Experiential Intelligence: Harness the Power of Experience for Personal and Business Breakthroughs, by Soren Kaplan. Listen on Libro (5 hours, 45 minutes). And thanks to the publisher for sending me a review copy. For more book reviews, visit John Pearson’s Buckets Blog and subscribe to Your Weekly Staff Meeting.
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