Issue No. 619 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting spotlights a book that has sold more than three million copies and is still going strong. Must-read! Plus, click here to see book recommendations in all 20 management buckets (core competencies), and click here for more book reviews. Also, read my recent review of The Power and The Money: The Epic Clashes Between Commanders in Chief and Titans of Industry.
Me! That's right...it's all about ME. (Or maybe...not?) Read on...
Back in 2018, I read and reviewed the second edition of this profound book. Here’s what I wrote:
“Maybe…this might be my most important book recommendation for you this year. The title…timely. The contents…convicting.” Now in its fourth edition—with over three million copies sold—what am I thinking now, six years later?
The Secret to Transforming Relationships and Unleashing Results
by The Arbinger Institute (Aug. 27, 2024) - Fourth Edition!
Published last week (with new material), I just read it again—but I can’t improve on my April 18, 2018, review. Enjoy:
Last week, while reflecting on issues of leadership character and humility, I found not one, but two copies on my bookshelf of Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box. I had never read the book (to my chagrin).
So my wife, Joanne, read it first this weekend—and her praise was effusive. Then I read it. (Am I the only leader that missed this gem?) I should have read it years ago (and my family and former staff teams would agree). If you haven’t read the book—or leveraged the insights for your organization or family—drop everything and read Leadership and Self-Deception. Here’s why:
Reason #1: Self-deception is rampant. You don’t need this book to recognize how other leaders are blind to their own self-deception—but it will give you handles (and a practical metaphor) for understanding the blindness.
Reason #2: I am blind to my own blindness. Whew. (Did I mention “convicting” and serious gut-checking?) While trying to figure out the sin and self-deception in other leaders, I wondered, how did the authors insert mirrors on every convicting page?
And as Scott Rodin reminds us in The Steward Leader, “If I could put one Bible verse on the desk of every pastor and every Christian leader in the world, it would be this: ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us’ (1 John 1:8).”
Reason #3: The “box” metaphor. Powerful. Trust me—read and study this book with your team (and family) and you’ll be using the “box” metaphor within an hour. The second edition [ditto the fourth edition] of Leadership and Self-Deception includes a short section on how to maximize the book’s impact. The authors list stunning (stunning!) examples of how the principles have transformed organizations (nonprofit and for-profit) and even police departments. In Japan, a word-of-mouth movement has launched “out-of-the-box” clubs. [Note: The 4th Edition uses different language for "the box," but the story is still very effective and you'll remember it.]
The business novel/fable/story format makes for an easy read (about six hours) with memorable characters, but—warning—it’s not a comfortable read.
Reason #4: Faith-based alignment. While the principles of Leadership and Self-Deception are not faith-based per se—they actually are. For my readers who are Christ-followers, you’ll salivate at the opportunity to integrate Leadership and Self-Deception with biblical wisdom.
Listen to the four-minute preface to the third edition. You’ll appreciate the brief analogy of an infant learning to crawl. (It’s almost biblical!)
And speaking of alignment, you’ll also appreciate how Leadership and Self-Deception enhances the insights, especially, of The Cure, The Advantage, Leaders Eat Last, Broken and Whole, Leading Me, Serve Strong, and What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There (to name just a few).
Reason #5: Refreshing humility—no author names! Really! Published by The Arbinger Institute, these leaders practice what they preach—and share the credit for this book with all of their team members, including non-writers. Hence—author names are not revealed. [And note: the book has now sold over three million copies.]
So, could this book help you and your leadership team? Yes! From the authors: “…the myriad ways in which people have used this book and its ideas fall within five broad areas of application: “1) applicant screening and hiring, 2) leadership and team building, 3) conflict resolution, 4) accountability transformation, and 5) personal growth and development.”
The fourth edition includes this endorsement from Verne Harnish, author of Scaling Up (my 2018 book-of-the-year). "...it's one of those rare books that touches both the personal as well as the professional lives of...leaders."
BONUS! The fourth edition includes a new section, “Research about Self-Deception in Organizations” and the Arbinger Mindset Assessment—available free of charge. The 20-question instrument takes less than five minutes to complete and you’ll receive an automated response. Click here.
TO ORDER FROM AMAZON, click on the title for Leadership and Self-Deception, Fourth Edition: The Secret to Transforming Relationships and Unleashing Results, by The Arbinger Institute. Listen on Libro (6 hours, 1 minute—from the third edition). And thanks to the publisher for sending me a review copy of the fourth edition. (Plus, special thanks to Jim Canning for sending me this book way back when!)
2) Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (40 million sold), highly recommends this book. Pop Quiz! Habit 5, from Covey, is: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Now…write down the other six.
Mastering 100 Must-Read Books - Part 16: Keys to Memorable Speaking and Writing
Book #89 of 100: You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard
For your team meeting this week, inspire a team member to lead your “10 Minutes for Lifelong Learning” session by spotlighting Book #89 in Mastering 100 Must-Read Books.
You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard:
The Complete Book of Speaking…in Business and in Life
by Bert Decker
Books #87 through #91 spotlight five memorable books to enrich your speaking and writing competencies. “Communicating is a contact sport,” says Bert Decker. “Your ability to communicate is the single most important skill determining your success in every aspect of your life. You dare not make the mistake of thinking that communication is nothing but dumping information on another person.”
• Read my review.
• Order from Amazon: You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard
• Download the 100 Must-Read Books list (from John and Jason Pearson).
So what is communication? It’s selling. “People buy on emotion and justify with facts,” says Bert Decker. If he’s right—you may need to tune-up your public communication style and skills. An emotional decision isn’t necessarily the wrong decision, says the author, and then he reminds us what counts in public speaking: the 3 V’s. Verbal is seven percent, vocal is 38 percent and visual (what the listener sees) is a whopping 55 percent. Yikes—the sub-conscious impression wins every time. So does likeability.
Song #30 of 45: “The Harder They Come”
Listen to “The Harder They Come," by Jimmy Cliff, Song #30 of 45 in our blog series, Johnny Be Good. Marc Myers notes that "...the springy rhythms of ‘The Harder They Come’ opened the door for a new wave that influenced rock, soul and punk." Reminder: Guest bloggers invited! More info here.
Even Brain Surgeons Aren't Smart Enough!
Mark Matson, author of Experiencing The American Dream: How to Invest Your Time, Energy, and Money to Create an Extraordinary Life, warns,“People can read a few articles, watch some videos, and suddenly think they can engineer a portfolio that will help them consistently beat the market, sadly to find out their genius as a brain surgeon did not translate to investing success.” Read my review. And for more book reviews, visit the Pails in Comparison Blog.
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