Issue No. 600 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting spotlights the new book, Supercommunicators—and almost celebrates this 600th issue! Plus, click here to download free resources from the 20 management buckets (core competencies), and click here for more book reviews. Also, read my recent review of Irreplaceable: How to Create Extraordinary Places that Bring People Together. Bonus! Read this week’s blog on the song, “Darling Be Home Soon,” sung by John Sebastian, in our toe-tapping feature, Johnny Be Good, spotlighting 45 songs from yesteryear.
PLAN A: Celebrate today's 600th issue of Your Weekly Staff Meeting. PLAN B: Wait until Issue No. 1,000 on Nov. 19, 2031.
But then (yikes)…I noticed in Book #70 of 100 (see below) that columnist George Will had written over 6,000 columns! SIX THOUSAND! So, I backed away from my measly 600 sexcentenary celebration—and just ordered more books. At my present pace, I will publish Issue No. 1,000 on Nov. 19, 2031, and will then plan an appropriate party. (By the way, on Nov. 20, 2031, Joe Biden will turn 89. I’ll only be 85! No problem!)
To all my readers—thanks for enduring my reviews and I apologize for busting your book budget once too often. But as Charlie “Tremendous” Jones reminded us in Books Are Tremendous:
will enable you to read up to two dozen books in a year. Keep it up and you will have read 1,000 books in your lifetime. That’s the equivalent of going through college five times.” (G. Gordan)
The new book, Supercommunicators, includes the hilarious script of this one-minute “emotional intelligence” example from Episode 1 of The Big Bang Theory. View it here.
“After I had failed as a manager…”
You gotta love the lifelong-learning chops of bestselling author Charles Duhigg. He writes, “This book was born, in part, from my own failures at communicating. A few years ago, I was asked to help manage a relatively complex work project. I had never been a manager before—but I had worked for plenty of bosses.”
He adds, “Plus, I had a fancy MBA from Harvard Business School and, as a journalist, communicated as a profession! How hard could it be?” (Can you relate?!!)
He confesses, “Very hard, it turned out.” His team pushed back. Plan A: Improved schedules and logistics, “a formal organizational chart, clearly spelling out everyone’s duty,” and asking someone else to run the meetings.
Plan B: Learn how to have effective conversations. “In many ways I wrote this book for myself. After I had failed as a manager at work and was wondering why I had become someone who couldn’t seem to read cues or hear what others were saying, I realized I might need to reevaluate how I communicated.”
And get this: “So, one night—and I know this sounds a little strange—I sat down and scribbled out a list of all the times, over the last year, that I could remember screwing up a conversation.” He said that putting his work and home missteps on paper “forced me to confront some very hard questions.”
Who does that—and then writes a book about it? Readers will be grateful. My only beef—the book is 20 years too late. I coulda, woulda been a better leader and manager. But it’s really never too late. I’m already using these principles. This is a must-read!
How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
by Charles Duhigg (Feb. 20, 2024)
THE BIG IDEA. Charles Duhigg, who also wrote the bestseller, The Power of Habit, says that powerful communication happens when you understand the three basic kinds of conversations and then when you realize that “if we aren’t having the same kind of conversation as our partners, at the same moment, we are unlikely to connect with each other.” The three conversations:
• What’s this really about?
• How do we feel?
• Who are we?
Supercommunicators blasts off like a James Bond movie. Last week, I was telling a friend about the book—and how in just three pages the author sold me! My friend immediately grabbed his phone and ordered the book. On page one, we learn about Felix, the FBI’s go-to guy on their Crisis Negotiation Unit for hostage situations.
Duhigg writes, “He once persuaded a man who had barricaded himself in a room with six cobras, nineteen rattlesnakes, and an iguana to come out peacefully and then name his accomplices in an animal-smuggling ring. ‘The key was getting him to see things from the snakes’ perspective,’ Felix told me. ‘He was a little weird, but he genuinely loved animals.’”
THE MATCHING PRINCIPLE. The author also introduces us to a CIA agent who uses thoughtful conversations to recruit spies. “When we match someone’s mindset, a permission is granted: To enter another person’s head, to see the world through their eyes, to understand what they care about and need.” The agent told Duhigg, “Conversations are the most powerful thing on earth.”
THE LEARNING CONVERSATION. The book’s graphics deliver an easy-to-read and easy-to-understand format. (Why don’t all books do this?) The author gives four rules for the “Learning Conversation.”
• Rule 1: “Pay attention to what kind of conversation is occurring.
• Rule 2: Share your goals, and ask what others are seeking.
• Rule 3: Ask about others’ feelings, and share your own.
• Rule 4: Explore if identities are important to this discussion.”
He notes that some schools encourage teachers to clarify student needs (per the three conversations) with the 3 H’s: Do you want to be Helped, Hugged, or Heard?
BIG BANG THEORY! You’ll appreciate Chapter 4, “How Do You Hear Emotions No One Says Aloud?” Learn why audiences hated the original pilot (never broadcast) for “The Big Bang Theory” because the live audience found the TV show “emotionally bewildering.” Learn how the writers fixed it.
LOL! Chapter 4 also chronicles the work of a NASA psychiatrist who interviewed and screened aspiring astronauts. The problem: both the U.S. and the Soviet Union had “diagnosed depression among astronauts and cosmonauts during, and after, missions in space, and had found that this despondency could lead to bickering, paranoia, and defensiveness with colleagues.” (Just another day at your office?)
The psychiatrist eventually reviewed 20 years of audio recordings of past applicant interviews—searching for an element of emotional intelligence that separated the best from the rest. He found it! “Some of the candidates laughed differently.” (You may just borrow the new interview technique described. LOL!)
THERE’S MORE! Supercommunicators is a treasure trove of very, very practical help—for work, home, and every relationship you have. Learn why “kitchen-sinking” is an unhelpful practice with your spouse. Discover how a soccer (football) league in Iraq broke down barriers between Christians and Muslims. (Brilliant!) Read the nine guidelines for hard conversations, and how to turn “shallow” questions into deep questions.
AND EVEN MORE! I’ve barely tapped the surface of this 2024 book-of-the-year nominee. I may record a “Zoom review” with one or more friends—because this book requires at least two reviews. I hope you read or listen to this gem—and then experience more powerful conversations.
To order from Amazon, click on the title for Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection (Feb. 20, 2024), by Charles Duhigg. Listen on Libro (7 hours, 28 minutes). And thanks to the publisher for sending me a review copy.
YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:
1) Netflix’s well-known “No Rules Rules” culture had a major setback in 2018. Founder Reed Hastings believed that “the fewer rules, the better” and that “silent disagreement is unacceptable.” (This reminded me, a bit, of Dennis Bakke’s books, Joy at Work and The Decision Maker.) But—then everything hit the fan. (Read Chapter 7, “How Do We Make the Hardest Conversations Safer?”) QUESTION: Does our culture inspire “safe” conversations—and is it time to take a fresh look at our culture? (Note: On March 15, the WSJ reported on a culture shift at Netflix.)
2) The author says that “Supercommunicators aren’t born with special abilities—but they have thought harder about how conversations unfold, why they succeed or fail” and “the nearly infinite number of choices that each dialogue offers that can bring us closer together or push us apart.” QUESTION: So…now after engaging in thousands (millions?) of conversations in your life to date—is it time to actually read or listen to a book to learn how to have effective conversations?
Mastering 100 Must-Read Books - Part 12: Historical & Political Commentary (U.S.)
Book #70 of 100: American Happiness and Discontents
For your team meeting this week, inspire a team member to lead your “10 Minutes for Lifelong Learning” session by spotlighting Book #70 in Mastering 100 Must-Read Books.
American Happiness and Discontents:
The Unruly Torrent, 2008-2020
by George F. Will
Books #66 through #70 spotlight five fascinating books on U.S. politics and more. Columnist George Will has high regard for those who read his newspaper columns. “Having a self-selected audience of intellectually upscale readers allows the columnist to assume that his or her readers have a reservoir of knowledge about the world. So, he can be brief—most of the writings in this book are approximately 750 words long—without being superficial.”
• Read my review.
• Order from Amazon: American Happiness and Discontents
• Listen on Libro (18 hours, 55 minutes).
• Download the 100 Must-Read Books list (from John and Jason Pearson).
50 YEARS & 6,000 COLUMNS! Whew! In January 1973, the author began writing columns for William F. Buckley’s National Review and the Washington Post. Total output over 50 years—about 6,000 columns! (That dramatically exceeds Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours standard.)
BINGE READING! For an in-depth staff meeting discussion, assign the column, “In Praise of Binge Reading” (April 19, 2020) to team members. George Will urges us to “mute Netflix long enough” to read several think pieces on deep reading. He quotes Adam Garfinkle’s work that suggests “government’s problem-solving failures reflect not just hyper-partisanship and polarization but the thin thinking of a political class of non-deep readers who are comfortable only with the shallowness of tweets.”
Song #11 of 45:
"Darling Be Home Soon”
Listen to “Darling Be Home Soon,” sung by John Sebastian, for Song #11 of 45 in our blog series, Johnny Be Good. Read the color commentary here and learn how Sebastian ended up on stage at Woodstock! Reminder: Guest bloggers invited! More info here.
Fire the Job Description!
Fire the job description! “…it’s time to end the practice of hiring people to fill jobs and begin the discipline of creating roles around outstanding people.” That's from the "Culture Bucket" book, The Empathy Advantage: Leading the Empowered Workforce. Read my review. And for more book reviews, visit the Pails in Comparison Blog.
TheShroudFilm.com - This Easter season learn why The Shroud of Turin is the most studied artifact in history. Does it show proof of the resurrection? From the bloodstain evidence we know the linen burial shroud did cover a man who suffered a brutal crucifixion, but we can also see details that go beyond a typical Roman form of execution to wounds particular to those suffered by only Jesus, as recorded in the gospel stories. From Robert Orlando and Jason Pearson, discover this new documentary streaming March 28. TheShroudFilm.com
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