Issue No. 491 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting grabs your attention with five questions from Andy Stanley, including “the best question ever.” And this reminder: click here to download free resources from the 20 management buckets (core competencies), click here for almost 500 book reviews, and click here for the Mastering Mistake-Making webpage. (See Mistake #16 below.)
1993: “Sure, I could guest host a live radio program.”
2021: Andy Stanley asks, “Is that wise, John?”
A Voice for Radio Is Not Enough!
Many people have told me I have a good “radio voice.” I sang bass in school and church choirs—so I often fantasized about having a radio gig. Others have said, “You have a face for radio!”
In 1993 in the Chicago area, Dick Staub interviewed me live on his nationally syndicated afternoon drive-time radio program. The award-winning Dick Staub Show was carried on over 60 stations. The interview went great and so I just happened to mention to Dick that I had thought about being on the radio someday.
A few days later, Dick invited me to guest host his program for two days. Unfortunately, I said yes. Dick said he’d be in China that week—and even if I messed up—he’d be too far away to rescue me! So with a very brief orientation a week later with Dick, I had my assignment for my first on-air day: read a book about social welfare policy and prepare questions for the in-studio interview with the author.
Yikes! Upon arrival, the author said he couldn’t stay the full 60-minutes for the interview—but not to worry, he had questions I could ask listeners. They would certainly call in, he promised.
No one called in! No one called! No one called! Imagine—trying to fill dead airtime with 30 minutes of monologue on a forgettable topic. At a commercial break, the producer gave me several prizes I could offer to callers. They called but only to get the prize from the producer—unwilling to speak on air with me. Even my faithful wife, Joanne (listening at home), sensed the disaster playing out in Chicagoland radio history—and even this knowledgeable former social worker did not call in to rescue me!
Good news/bad news. In reality, few were listening or cared. That morning on Oct. 6, 1993, Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time, announced his retirement from the Chicago Bulls. That’s what we talked about in the first hour of the program—and listeners did call in. But as the Jordan news swelled, by afternoon, no one was interested in discussing social welfare policy—including the author who left early! Oh, my.
Hmmm. You mean to tell me that just having a voice for radio is not enough? You also need a brain for radio? Who knew? And, please remind me not to take on roles outside of my skillset.
I mention this story because Andy Stanley writes in Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets, “Your decisions determine your story.”
My mistake back in 1993: Sometimes…ego and over-confidence in my abilities coaxed me into saying “yes” to opportunities and client projects—when I should have said “no.”
Have you ever said “yes” to something only to discover it wasn’t the right fit? Then it’s too late to back out and every hour or day on the project is torture, right? Whew! Why did I agree to this? Gradually, the unpleasant situation is compounded by procrastination, mediocre results, and zero joy. My radio gig was very short-lived, but it did leave a bruise. Sometimes ego trumps discernment. In my consulting years, for example, it took several rounds for me to realize my competencies were in the nonprofit space, not the for-profit (but more profitable) arena.
WHAT I LEARNED: I’m often asked, “What’s the best book you’ve read in the last year?” Some nonprofit leaders are looking for a gift book to send to donors. Others are being intentional about people development and want to bless their team members and board members. Sometimes I meet a serious lifelong learner. Leaders are readers.
I had missed the publisher’s hype when The Best Question Ever: A Revolutionary Approach to Decision-Making, by Andy Stanley, was published in 2004. But in 2007, Dick Towner encouraged me to read it. I bought the book and Joanne read it first and she agreed with Dick. When those two gang up on me, I just salute and do what they say. I read and savored it. We bought a case and named it the “Book-of-the-Year” for our clients. (Note: Stanley wrote an updated edition, Ask It, in 2014.)
GOOD NEWS! Just 12 months ago, Andy Stanley added four more questions and wrote Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Next Move. At just 192 pages, it’s worth your time—and you’ll be sharing it with colleagues, friends, and family (and grandkids!). The five questions:
1. The Integrity Question: Am I being honest with myself? Really?
2. The Legacy Question: What story do I want to tell?
3. The Conscience Question: Is there a tension that deserves my attention?
4. The Maturity Question: What is the wise thing to do?
5. The Relationship Question: What does love require of me?
In Mastering Mistake Making, I focused on Stanley’s fourth question, “What is the wise thing to do?” That’s from Mistake #24, “Saying ‘YES’ Too Often.” Here’s the big idea from Andy Stanley: “We've all done dumb stuff in our lives. We all have regrets. Yet none of us plans to mess up our lives. Why, then, does it keep happening?” Stanley offers a very practical question to ask—and it’s applicable to all of our actions in all of life's arenas. The question: “In light of my past experience, my current circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?”
The author of more than 20 books and the founder of Atlanta-based North Point Ministries, Stanley also notes the WORST question to ask: “Is there anything wrong with it?” He says the worst question is also the wrong question to ask. The best question: “Is it wise?” It’s simple, convicting, and demands discernment. For example:
• Sure, I could guest host a radio program. (Is that wise, John?)
• Well, my expertise is actually with nonprofit Christian organizations, churches, and associations—but yes, I could help your for-profit business. (Is that wise, John?)
• Joanne, we do have the money. Owning it would be fun! (Is that wise, John?)
If you’ve already nailed Question #4, “What is the wise thing to do?”—then discern if you’re gutsy enough to look in the mirror while you’re answering Stanley’s other four questions:
#1. The Integrity Question: Am I being honest with myself? Really?
• “Most people don’t learn from bad decisions because they’re convinced their bad decisions were somebody else’s fault.”
• “Decision #1: The Integrity Decision. I will not lie to myself even when the truth makes me feel bad about myself.”
• “Pardon my presumption, but you may need to write that down and put it where you can see it every day. For a while anyway. I suggest a mirror.”
This reminded me of the classic song, “Have a Little Talk With Myself,” performed by Max Q.
Listen to “Have a Little Talk With Myself,” performed by Max Q.
#2. The Legacy Question: What story do I want to tell?
• Learn about the story Joseph lived (20 years after his brothers sold him into slavery!) and why you’re writing your own story—“one decision at a time.”
#3. The Conscience Question: Is there a tension that deserves my attention?
• The story that King David chose not to write for his grandkids: “Grandpa David, tell us one more time about how you became king. You know, how you snuck up behind King Saul while he was using the potty and slit his throat!”
• This question prompted me to re-read A Tale of Three Kings: A Study in Brokenness, by Gene Edwards. Powerful!
#5. The Relationship Question: What does love require of me?
• Stanley’s mentor would ask him, “Andy, what do you hope I don’t ask you about?” (Andy’s response: “That’s cheating! You’re supposed to poke around and discover that for yourself!”)
Whew! If you’re gutsy enough—read and share this book with your team.
To order from Amazon, click on the title for Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Next Move, by Andy Stanley. Are you a listener? Listen to the book on Libro.fm (4 hours, 9 minutes), narrated by Andy Stanley. And thanks to Zondervan for providing a review copy.
YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS:
1) Raise your hand if you think John’s wife should have called into the radio show!
2) Think of a decision we made recently that didn’t turn out well. Could we have avoided the trauma if someone had asked the best question ever? “Is it wise?”
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Mistake #16 of 25:
Disregarding God-Given Gifts & Passion
Insights from Mastering Mistake-Making: My 25 Memorable Mistakes—And What I Learned, by John Pearson with Jason Pearson
In How to Deal With Annoying People, Bob Phillips writes in the chapter, “How to Lead Annoying People,” that Drivers and Expressives find decision-making easier than do Amiables and Analyticals. Read more on the four social styles in Mastering Mistake Making.
John’s Mistake #16: “I naively and arrogantly thought that if family, friends, and co-workers could just function more like me (the right way), we’d all just get along. Yikes!”
John learned to leverage what he calls “The 3 Powerful S’s” to understand others (and himself): Social Styles, Strengths, and Spiritual Gifts. To understand social styles, he recommends the practical and indispensable “conflict resolution 101” book—and it’s fun to read. How to Deal with Annoying People: What to Do When You Can't Avoid Them, by Bob Phillips and Kimberly Alyn (order from Amazon).
Click here to view the list of all 25 mistakes and read the introduction to Mastering Mistake Making. To order this book from Amazon, click on the title for Mastering Mistake-Making: My 25 Memorable Mistakes—And What I Learned (10 Minutes for Lifelong Learning Workbook), by John Pearson with Jason Pearson.
"MISTAKES ARE LIKE TUITION." Read the blog by Dr. Richard (Rick) Goossen, Chairman of The Entrepreneurial Leaders Organization (The ELO Network), "Have You Mastered the Craft of Making Mistakes?" And listen to George P. Wood's interview with John Pearson, "“How to Make Mistakes Well” on the Influence Podcast.
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JASON PEARSON: UNEXPECTED CREATIVE. Before you launch your next “sure thing” marketing campaign—slow down and consult outside wisdom, especially on the question, “Is it wise?” Contact Pearpod Media (Design, Digital, Marketing, Social).
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