Issue No. 482 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting features my letter to three of our five grandchildren (recent high school grads), along with a new book on how to launch their careers. And this reminder: click here to download free resources from the 20 management buckets (core competencies) and click here for the new book I wrote with my son, Jason, Mastering Mistake-Making: My 25 Memorable Mistakes—And What I Learned. See Mistake #8 below.
Grandpa John recommends a new book to his grandkids. The Unspoken Rules suggests you look for the five "influencers" at your new job. "Of course, no one walks around with those labels on their foreheads!"
Dear Grandkids,
You’re cordially invited to join me at Starbucks for a book discussion and a pop quiz!
As you know, I usually write each issue of Your Weekly Staff Meeting to all my readers and leaders, but most of them already have careers. And though some of our readers do have dysfunctional bosses, rarely enough funding, and bulging employee handbooks—most love their careers and are doing well. (That’s because they read books!)
Instead, this eNews is just for the three of you (but others are welcome to also read your Grandpa John’s advice). And you guessed it—I have another must-read book! One of you said it was helpful as you started your summer job. It must be really good, because you already got your first raise! Way to go!
Had you asked me—a month ago—for my Top-10 list of the “unspoken rules” you need to know in your first career, I would have confidently shared 20 rules with you. Grammy Joanne would have another 20 for you. Ditto your parents, youth director, and older friends. “That’s an easy book to write,” I would have said—a month ago. But today…
…I can’t believe I’m writing this—the savvy insights in Gorick Ng’s hot-off-the-press book from Harvard Business Review Press are uniquely amazing. The Unspoken Rules is a one-of-a-kind career tool. I just ordered one copy for the three of you (please share!). If you’d prefer the audio book from Libro.fm, let me know.
My suggestion: read this EVERY time you start a new job. The “unspoken rules” are off-the-chart helpful. Ng’s nuances are frequently missed by newbies and, I’ll bet, even by experienced managers. Examples:
SEND THE RIGHT SIGNALS. It’s tough to pick my favorite chapter, but Chapter 7, “Send the Right Signals,” is immensely helpful. Take-aways:
• Detailed nuances on: Emails and Instant Messages, Phone Calls, Video Calls, Voice Mails, Online Activity, and In-Person Behavior
• Table 7-1: How to distinguish between monochronic and polychronic people (Examples: “Are prompt no matter what” vs. “Are prompt depending on the relationship”) – Will your next boss be mono or poly? What are you?
• Five questions for in-person behavior, including “What do you leave on your desk, in your trash can, and in the printer—and what does it say about your priorities?”
• “You need to assume that you are always being watched.” (Yikes!)
TWO FLAVORS & THREE Cs. “Every email you send is a new opportunity to demonstrate your Three Cs.” (The foundational theme of the Three Cs: Commitment, Competence, and Compatibility flows purposely through the book.) But while the detailed email protocol is fantastic (never read anything like it!), the author warns that workplaces come in two general flavors: Email-first or IM-first. Ng writes, “Writing at work is therefore like dressing up for work.” Business casual or more formal? Ditto—your written communications.
GOOD AND BAD QUESTIONS. “Knowing the difference between good and bad questions is critical. As much as people like to say, ‘there are no stupid questions,’ there are.” The three concentric circles on page 37 will be on the pop quiz! And the eight “blanks to fill in to see the big picture” of your organization are worth gold (page 36). And…LOL! Read about the intern on page 32 who met the CEO in the elevator—but didn’t know she was the CEO! To “show up like a high performer,” check out the 15 higher-priority and lower-priority tasks when prepping for your first day (a 45-minute research project).
THE PROBLEM. Gorick Ng’s performance review in his first career job was not pretty. It referenced a 2:30 a.m. (not a typo) meeting at the office with his manager. He notes, “That night felt like surgery without anesthesia.” What did he learn? He didn’t have the “knowledge of the unspoken rules—certain ways of doing things that managers expect but don’t explain and that top performers do but don’t realize. Knowing how to navigate the unspoken rules is essential to career success.”
The problem? The unspoken rules “aren’t taught in school. Instead they are passed down from parent to child and from mentor to mentee, making for an unlevel playing field between insiders and outsiders.” How does Ng know this? “Because I was one of the outsiders.” (Grandpa John note: Yes—blame your parents, not your grandparents!)
The author was the first person in his family to attend college—Harvard University. Today, Gorick Ng (also a graduate of Harvard Business School) is a career adviser at Harvard—specializing in coaching first-generation, low-income students. He previously managed new employees at Boston Consulting Group. Thus—this superb book.
MANAGE YOUR WORKLOAD. Trust me, grandkids! When you follow God’s leading into the right career and into the right organization (or you start your own company, in space perhaps?), you will need to prioritize your workload—every day. Chapter 9, “Manage Your Workload,” is very, very practical. (I could have used this wisdom 50 years ago!) For example, the Venn diagram on page 123 is LOL-funny, but so, so true: “The tension between what you find important and what others find important.”
Three intersecting circles:
• What you find important
• What your manager finds important
• What your company finds important
The descriptors:
• Things that make you happy but that won’t get you anywhere in the organization.
• Things that you’ll be unhappy doing.
• Things that make your manager happy but don’t help you or your career.
• Things that get you noticed but that make you and your manager miserable!
And the center of those three intersecting circles: “A mythical place!”
EXTRA CREDIT. The classic URGENT versus IMPORTANT quadrants (the Eisenhower Matrix) are featured in Chapter 9 along with five recommendations, including: “If something is neither urgent nor important, remove it from your life.” Extra credit: read my review of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People®, by Stephen R. Covey, or google “Eisenhower Matrix.”
MISTAKES! Don’t skip “So You Made a Mistake, Now What?” The author challenges readers, “If you aren’t making mistakes, you may not be stretching yourself enough”—but pay attention to the kind of mistake you make. LOL—again! As you know, your dad and I just wrote the book, Mastering Mistake Making, but had we read The Unspoken Rules when it arrived in April, we would have quoted this wisdom:
• “No mistakes are better than mistakes.
• Safe mistakes are better than dangerous mistakes.
• Small mistakes are better than big mistakes.
• Private mistakes are better than public mistakes.
• First-time mistakes are better than non-first-time mistakes.”
The quadrants on page 136 are useful—plotting Noticeable Mistakes and Unnoticeable Mistakes against Reversible Mistakes and Irreversible Mistakes. (One common line in all four quadrants: “Avoid making the same mistake again.”)
EVERY PAGE HAS A TAKE-AWAY. Honest! Don’t speed-read this book or you’ll miss these gems:
• In-the-trenches stories: best and worst practices like Neel’s Three Cs disaster on a Zoom call (page 79-80)
• Why you should always say “Yes” when asked, “Do you have any questions?” (page 35)
• A template for building your external narrative (page 58)
• Five questions to ask yourself before clicking “send” on your emails (pages 84-85)
• Five kinds of influencers: Gatekeepers, Veterans, Experts, Socialites, Advisers (page 145) and this note: “Of course, no one walks around with these labels on their foreheads.”
• The company’s culture: ask for permission or ask for forgiveness? (page 147)
• Yikes! You must understand “The Lesson of First Loyalties” (page 148).
• For introverts: “How to keep a conversation going.” Think E.A.R.—Engage, Ask, Repeat. (page 164)
BRILLIANT ADDED VALUE. Four more reasons why this is must-read:
• How to master meetings (Chapter 12): read the bullet-point summary (a feature of every chapter) on page 187. Example: when to speak up.
• You’ll appreciate the discussion of high context vs. low context cultures (page 191)—especially if your manager is not U.S.-born.
• Plan on lots of conflict in your career, but learn how to resolve conflict in Chapter 14 and don’t miss the “10-10-10 strategy” from Suzy Welch on page 213. “Which option will I feel best about in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years?”
• Assuming you may change jobs (and even careers) more than once, note the email template for announcing your exit to your team members (after you’ve told your boss). See Step 4, “Leave Graciously,” on pages 217-222 (one of three options if your current job is not working out: live with it, fix it, or leave).
See you at Starbucks for the book discussion and pop quiz! And by the way, CONGRATULATIONS on your high school graduations! (And congrats to your parents who homeschooled you all these years. Impressive!)
Blessings,
Grandpa John
P.S. When you are promoted to management—leverage the practical wisdom in The Unspoken Rules as you mentor your new hires.
To order this book from Amazon, click on the title for The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right, by Gorick Ng. Listen to the book on Libro.fm (7 hours, 2 minutes). And thanks to Fortier PR for sending me a review copy.
YOUR WEEKLY STAFF MEETING QUESTIONS
1) The author of Next Job, Best Job recommends you not use the “Swiss Army knife” approach on your resume—hedging your bets by listing every job you’ve ever had. Why is the generalist approach not appropriate for most job interviews? (Read my review.)
2) Michael Watkins lists 11 fundamentals for the new manager or leader as she negotiates for success with her new boss. Read the review of my pick for 2010 book-of-the-year, The First 90 Days: Critical Success Strategies for New Leaders at All Levels. (Example: “Don’t trash the past.”) What would be on your list of fundamentals in your first 90 days for building a great relationship with your new boss?
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Mistake #8 of 25:
Incessantly Whining About Being Too Busy
Insights from Mastering Mistake-Making: My 25 Memorable Mistakes—And What I Learned, by John Pearson with Jason Pearson
John missed the memo about complaining behind closed doors!
“My default conversations were about busyness, not results.” That’s the subtitle of Mistake #8 in the new book by John Pearson with Jason Pearson. John says he played the victim way too often. (“We are so, so busy!”) He confesses, “It was my fault that we were out of control, but my response was dumb and counterproductive.”
Way too late in life, John read Dick Daniels’ incredible book, Leadership Briefs: Shaping Organizational Culture to Stretch Leadership Capacity—and this insightful chapter, “The Social Graces of Memorable Leaders.” It was John’s 2015 Book-of-the-Year.
Daniels urges leaders to balance the hard skills of leading with the soft skills of effective leadership. He lists “Six Graceful Reminders.” Here’s number four: “Complain Behind Closed Doors.” He writes, “Bad days provide an opportunity to model how to fly above the fray rather than play the part of the victim who seeks sympathy in the messiness of life.”
Click here to view the list of all 25 mistakes and read the introduction to Mastering Mistake Making. To order this book from Amazon, click on the title for Mastering Mistake-Making: My 25 Memorable Mistakes—And What I Learned (10 Minutes for Lifelong Learning Workbook), by John Pearson with Jason Pearson.
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JASON PEARSON: UNEXPECTED CREATIVE. Do your newest team members understand “the unspoken rules” regarding design, digital, marketing, and social communications in your organization? For an insider’s savvy, contact Pearpod Media (branding, digital, print, and video).
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