Issue No. 67 of Your Weekly Staff Meeting delivers practical help on those annoying people in your life and what to do about them. How do you perceive other people—and how do they perceive you? If you dislike all systems that put people in a “box,” then you should also disregard your own system of first impressions—it’s likely inaccurate. This week’s book will help. Ask a team member to read it and then review it at a future staff meeting. And this reminder: to scan the mini-reviews of more than 65 books, visit the archives.
Friction Control Toolkit
About 20 years ago, I heard Peter Drucker counsel ministry leaders on conflict resolution. He said inter-personal conflict and friction at work was inevitable—we’re working with people. The bigger issue, he said, was to have systems in place for dealing with conflict. Is conflict resolution part of your team’s toolkit? Or, is it stuffed way down where no one deals with it?
Survey your team and see how many have read a book, attended a workshop, or been thoughtfully mentored on conflict resolution. Bob Phillips and Kimberly Alyn have written a practical and indispensable Conflict Resolution 101 book—and it’s fun to read. To order from Amazon, click on this title: How to Deal With Annoying People: What to Do When You Can’t Avoid Them.
For years, I’ve encouraged leaders and managers (actually—anyone who takes nourishment) to study the four social styles: Drivers, Analyticals, Amiables and Expressives. The authors have creatively communicated what makes people annoying to us (and us to them) by overlaying the social style construct on all things annoying. It’s brilliant.
The book delivers conflict prevention and resolution principles, including 10 myths about conflict. Myth #7 is “Harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal.” And Myth #10 is “Conflict is a sign that people do not care.” The book also suggests how to sell to annoying people. Example: explain to Expressives how their buying decision will “add more adventure, fun and excitement to their lives.” (Fundraisers: take note.)
The chapter on “Dispelling 10 Stereotypical Gender Myths” is worth the price of the book. If you’ve bought into the myth that women are relationship-oriented and men are task-oriented, you’ve misread God’s unique design in people—male and female. It’s a must-read chapter.
Your Weekly Staff Meeting Questions:
#1. Discuss several stereotypical observations about gender—and then consider if they are really about male and female issues or might more appropriately be representative of the four social styles. Why is this important in conflict resolution?
#2. Myth #3 in the book reads, “Conflict should never be escalated.” Discuss why it might be helpful for conflict to be escalated in some circumstances.
The Volunteer Bucket: 5 Questions - Insights from the Management Buckets Workshop Experience
As you refine and refire your volunteer program for the year ahead, discuss these questions from the Volunteer Bucket:
1) Why do we impulsively hire paid staff and give inexperienced paid staff highly responsible assignments—but require committed volunteers to work their way up (as if “up” is a biblical concept)?
2) Why do we overwork our paid staff, but under-work and under-challenge our unpaid staff (volunteers)?
3) Why are the reserved parking places and the anniversary pins allocated only to paid staff?
4) Why do some churches title their paid staff “pastors” or “directors” and yet none of their unpaid staff have comparable titles? (Where is that in my Bible?)
5) What does payroll have to do with building the Kingdom of God?
OK, I’m done. Thanks for indulging me.
Your Weekly Staff Meeting Questions:
#1. Pick any question above. Pray. Discuss
#2. What changes should we make in our volunteer program in the next 90 days?
NEXT STEPS: I can help you integrate these leadership and management tips and best practices into your unique setting and help you assess your competencies in the 20 management buckets. Email me at John@JohnPearsonAssociates.com or visit my website at www.JohnPearsonAssociates.com.
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